Wanted

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Now don’t get me wrong my human pack is OK but sometimes at night it can be a little lonely, if you get me drift so a park pall suggested I should advertise for a “companion”.

So far the key features are:

• attractive smooth bitch 2- 4 years old for good times with a strikingly handsome dark haired male – cruelly snipped in his prime!
• hair colour – any
• figure – slender and fast
• hobbies – chasing squirrels and rabbits, sniffing bushes and trees, jumping into ponds and rivers, having fun in the long grass and laying on back with legs in the air.

Have I missed anything crucial? Should I leave out the snipped bit?

Existentialism

I was just thinking about Jean Paul Sartre because I was worried about my dinner in the context of existence and essence. Now I know existentalism is a little out of “vogue” but………

My dinner was in the bowl and then it was gone though its essence lingered!

You’ve guessed  – it was inside me.

So if it was gone it no longer existed and if it was in me then maybe I don’t exist

or

If it was in a bowl and it is still in the bowl then I am a bowl!

Oh dear I thought I was just a dog albeit a very special and handsome one!

Best have a nap and dream about chasing squirrels, do they exist?

The Lakes

Numbers 1 and 2 are lovers of the Lakes. The Lakes are a long drive from our house so when I was taken for my first visit it was up at dawn and routemarched round the park. But I then got a hearty breakfast so not so bad.

In Windermere 1 and 2 went to Booths for breakfast – a tradition – what does that mean? I think it means bacon and eggs and sausage and stuff.

Then we drove into big hills – which means big walks and runs. Slightly handicapped by lambs; I wanted to run and play with them but I was advised that this was a bad idea and at times “robbed” of the fun I deserve by the great long windy lead.

Came down to a place – Ambleside – and went on some great big fields that led right into the lake. Apparently there are the remains of some ancient – yawn yawn – Roman Fort – Galava.

More importantly I could sprint headlong into the water! Then two labradors appeared and we ran and ran until “they” were completely knackered. Al fresco tea, crashed out and slept all the way home.

Sweet dreams!

The Boss (or the day I was abandoned!)

It was a nice sunny Sunday and pack leader woke me a little too early and dragged me out!

Anyway lots of sniffs and squirrels soon resolved my humour.

When we got back the young ones were getting up. Very strange for a Sunday – I began to smell a rat. My name was being mentioned non-inclusively. Then one of them came back with granny – who stayed and sneaked me a couple of illegal treats – while they deprived me of a trip to Hyde Park to see Bruce Springsteen.

It was Hard Rock Calling June 28th 2009.

Apparently it was brilliant, a beautifully sunny evening in London and the Boss was awesome.

They were full of it when they got back. They took me for a late night walk in the park – moonlight and sniffs – heavenly. And so nearly got a big fluffy cat that is a little cocky when I am “chained” to one of the humans.

Time to dream of the next time!

Superhero part 2

It’s getting a little boring now.

Anyway – being a superhero is a really good way to approach life. You take the “script” – which is all the doubts, the negatives and the thoughts that limit your life and put them to one side so you can experience life differently. Differently means BETTER!

Did you get that? Me neither.

Apparently everything in life is a feeling. So you can choose to FEEL happy or you can FEEL to choose sad. The programme my pack leader went on makes it much easier for him to make that choice.

I think I get that bit.

If you want to be a Superhero just let me know – I may get a treat if I am helpful.

Must go the squirrels are back

Ark event

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Wot a lovely day  – it was sunny and I got lots of attention. Met people who were nice to me when I lived in the Ark – it felt really good.

I was a bit nervous about going back but really glad I did.

Managed to distract 1 and 2 every time we went past the dogwash.

Bit concerned when 1 spent time looking at the other dogs who want a new home – might have to share my dinner – could starve!

All of you please rescue a dog – so long as you are kind, have the time and are in it for the long run.

Afternoon tea was brilliant, I looked my most plantive and people were queuing up to give me chunks of ham sandwich and pieces of cake – is part of the human 5 a day?

Hot must nap

late night rucus

Last night “they” tried to fob me off with a trip round the garden instead of a nocturnal hunt on the green – cheap trick!

Anyway it came back to bite them as “they” say.

I was investigating round the compost and found a creature – and when I tried to prod it to assess suitability as a playmete or snack or whatever it stabbed my nose.

As you can imagine that did not go down well with “yours truly” – just an Allan Bennett moment. I’m getting “them” to read Uncommoon Reader to me – it’s brilliant

I was forced to bark and create a major fuss. Well they took sides with the “hedgehog” – poor defenseless little creature -“my eye” – could damage me more than I could damage it.

Good news been back to the green every night since.

Must go there’s a warm sunny spot beckoning to me.

a hose?

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Now there is more light and it isn’t freezing all the time – remember I am a Pharaoh Hound and need a warm climate – “they” spend more time in the garden. No. 1 got this thing hanging off the wall that he calls a hose. He turns on a tap and it shoots out a solid tube of stuff. But it’s amazing because the stuff tastes a bit like water. And it is tricky becuse if I get in front of this tube I get wet like when I go in the river.

In fact I had a good game running round the pampas grass at at least 100 miles an hour and sprinting through the tube. I look forward to doing that again – possibly when it is slightly warmer I wouldn’t want to get a chill!

the mud

In the woods there are some wet muddy bits – I can’t resist a quick plunge into the deepest dirtiest bits.

Slight downside – ‘they’ get sniffy about how bad I smell- what a cheek.

1 got so sniffy he took me and hosed me before I got my tea. Cold water as well – what does that do to a chap’s dignity. Good job I was really really hungry or there would have been some serious words.

ps I’ll do it again next time!

camomile?

Saturday started nicely – they didn’t wake me too early. Then after a trip round the garden I got a quick snooze on the big bed while they drank nasty brown stuff.

It was really sunny and there were lots of pals to run riot with. We went over the river and round the big fields at the other side. I got a brief lecture from pack leader 1, something about ignoring him, not too sure it was too sunny to pay much attention. Couple of splashes in the river and then round to the cafe where they have silly drinks and I get a couple of nice chews. Lots of dogs and I must say a little too much needless barking – disturbed my meditative state so I gave 1 and 2 my “take me home immediately” stare.

Got home good nosh, quick prowl to make sure I didn’t miss any stray morsels and then discreet sidestep upstairs.

I was nabbed! Number 4 and girlfriend put me in the bath and sprayed me with water, then put bubbly stuff on me and made me all frothy. They said it had “camomile” – what on earth is that?

I must say it did feel quite nice but there is not a trace of mud left on me.

Anyway I feel quite tranquil so must nap…..