My pack leader and I
are at odds.
Our walking preferences
And he thinks he has the right
to take shorter walks in the dark and damp of winter.
No! He is just a human while I am a noble lurcher
and I love the dark and damp.
Hence we are at odds!
It is not whimsy
My olfactory sense loves the dark and damp,
Creatures come out in the dark
when they might hide in daylight.
And, when all is said and done
I am a finely honed hunter where pack leader is
a staggerer and not to be taken seriously
in the domain of the wild outside.
So it is incumbent upon me
to convert him.
A painless way to get my way
and to stop us being at odds
otherwise it could become unpleasant
for my human and I don’t want to upset him too much.
Treats upon treats! Pack member 4, formally known as Corin and Anna, his partner
who is suffering from a cruel Christmas flu have taken me to Parsley Hay. It used to be a railway station but is now just for cyclists and walkers. Sorry about the picture but pack leader has a mild steam fetish; loves the smell of smoke and the sounds. No surprise then that he has asthma.
Anyway, besides being subjected to the “can’t stop for a loo break” torture it was a very fine walk! People were nice as were the dogs until one got near to my lunch. He knows better now. Slightly queezy moment when I got stuck at the top of a steep drop; but deployed my four wheel drive and scrabbled to safety.
Home now. Eaten my tea and assumed the upside down position in front of the fire.
OK it was a great walk on some big rocks. I think they called it Black Rocks. It scared them when I got close to the edge but there is no need to worry – I have full time four leg drive so I am a lot safer than humans. And lets be honest number 1 was stumbling about like a stumbly thing.
But it was lovely to be somewhere interesting and it was sunny and fresh as well.
When it finished the four humans amused themselves in Scarthin Books, they love it but BUUUT they were there for ages and came out smelling of food – ratfinks! I was starving and my blood sugar plummeting but no Rio will be OK!
Final insult I needed a loo stop. I asked very politely in a low whimper but did they stop – not a chance. When we got home I had to shoot into the garden before my bladder exploded. Sweet relief!
Then things looked up; a nice big dinner and the fire on full. So here I am upside down on one of the settees with a pack member squeezed in at each end and I am even allowing them to stroke me as I drift off into my dreams of running and hunting. Bliss.
Hello – it’s me again – the beloved Rio the awesome lurcher.
I’ve been cursed by writer’s block. What a nightmare!
But now I am cured. I was staring at a tree and had a flicker of awareness, not as to why I was staring at the tree but of my public. It was emotional. It started on Sunday when two of the pack took us off to an open day at the Ark in Ashbourne and I met several people I had started to forget but it came to me they were very kind when I was wrongly detained in the Ark. I was innocent.
Anyway, I digress. It has struck me that I lost my words but now they are found. So there is lots to come. I will go now I have an itch I just cannot get to so I am off to find a competent pack member to apply the appropriate treatment. Though heaven knows they are often too stupid to understand what I need!
All I was doing was to check that the pack were doing proper recycling. You know making sure that everything was in the right place e.g. cardboard in the cardboard bag. So I smelt a dog biscuit box and dipped in my head to make sure none of my precious biscuits had been thrown away inadvertently. But quelle horreuer it was a booby trap – it grabbed my head!
I was caught, backed out and stumbled tunnel visionally round the kitchen.
I knew number 1 was in the lounge, so I stumbled my way there and gazed pleadingly out of the end of the box. And what did I get? Hysterical laughter from him and number 4; “hang on while I get my camera” and 1 peering into the end of the box and sniggering at me. I was utterly and totally embarrassed and it was almost a minute beforte I could eat the treat I was given to make me feel better.
Pack leader read a book yesterday. All of it in one day! Very hard to believe I know. However I was snoozing on the new deck and packleader started to tell number 2 about it. And it was amazing, so much so I didn’t even doze off.
It really is about a dog’s purpose in its relationship to humans and has a really novel slant which I have promised not to yap about in case I spoil it for others.