Ohhhh Soooo Slow!

A nice cup of tea (and a sit down). A Denby te...

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I don’t know how it works for you dogs out there but I am getting a little cheesed off with my pack.

They are irritatingly slow! Take any morning. Number 1 comes in and wakes me. A moment or two to get my bearings, and perhaps some affectionate stroking, and I am ready for anything.

Him – not so – kettle on, scratching, yawning, squeeezing tea bags, fridge – milk. Then takes two mugs upstairs, chats to comatose number 2, considers the weather, selects appropriate attire, dresses very slowly – bathroom – some very minor titivation. Then down the stairs. Ready? No chance.

Which coat – if any, which shoes or boots, lead, collar, poo bags, balls, flinger, unlock doors and then BLASTOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO! Turns round to check whether he needs to take keys or not. You can imagine – by this time I am spitting feathers.

Then we’re out at long last. I could have done a mile and a fascinating selection of toilets by now.

Please help – how can I train them to get their fingers out?