We are at odds

Elegant hunter at rest

Elegant hunter at rest

My pack leader and I
are at odds.
Our walking preferences
are diverging.
And he thinks he has the right
to take shorter walks in the dark and damp of winter.
No! He is just a human while I am a noble lurcher
and I love the dark and damp.
Hence we are at odds!
It is not whimsy
My olfactory sense loves the dark and damp,
Creatures come out in the dark
when they might hide in daylight.
And, when all is said and done
I am a finely honed hunter where pack leader is
a staggerer and not to be taken seriously
in the domain of the wild outside.
So it is incumbent upon me
to convert him.
A painless way to get my way
and to stop us being at odds
otherwise it could become unpleasant
for my human and I don’t want to upset him too much.

Ohhhh Soooo Slow!

A nice cup of tea (and a sit down). A Denby te...

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I don’t know how it works for you dogs out there but I am getting a little cheesed off with my pack.

They are irritatingly slow! Take any morning. Number 1 comes in and wakes me. A moment or two to get my bearings, and perhaps some affectionate stroking, and I am ready for anything.

Him – not so – kettle on, scratching, yawning, squeeezing tea bags, fridge – milk. Then takes two mugs upstairs, chats to comatose number 2, considers the weather, selects appropriate attire, dresses very slowly – bathroom – some very minor titivation. Then down the stairs. Ready? No chance.

Which coat – if any, which shoes or boots, lead, collar, poo bags, balls, flinger, unlock doors and then BLASTOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO! Turns round to check whether he needs to take keys or not. You can imagine – by this time I am spitting feathers.

Then we’re out at long last. I could have done a mile and a fascinating selection of toilets by now.

Please help – how can I train them to get their fingers out?